There really isn't a whole lot that's funny about global warming, which is why I photoshopped a Hasidic Jew blowtorching the shit out of earth. I did this just for you. I hope you enjoy it.

I really didn't believe the concept that global warming could be depleting various layers of our atmosphere until Donald Trump's most recent appearance on television to defend his placement of the American flag.  He sure is awfully red these days. I thought maybe he had been out and about on the globe, warming himself in the sun, but the more I think about it...its probably just the booze. 

 Anyhow, global warming has severely affected me personally. First and foremost, I've had to buy a swamp cooler for my third floor. Can someone tell me who's responsible for global warming? They owe me 2 fucking grand for that swamp cooler. Maybe i'll talk to the league of Hasidic bakers. 

Secondly, I live in Colorado. What the hell is going on with the weather here. No there's not supposed to be a question mark there. It's a statement, asshole. People who live here constantly brag about all the sunshine. They're full of shit. We've had at least 439 feet of snow this season as far as I can tell.  Thank god I only have to heat 4800 sft. It sucks here so much that i've considered moving back to San Diego several times.

At any rate, someone please point me to the single responsible party that is in charge of warming the globe so that I may kick him in the nuts. And none of this "global warming is a problem that we're all responsible for," or I may very well drive over you in my 3/4 ton V8 truck. Hippie.

Seriously, I'll fuckin squash you.