In a recent speech, Barrack Obama added several new states to the US territory. When asked how this would be accomplished, he indicated that much in the same way that San Francisco and New York borders have been created from landfill and backfill, we will create entirely new entities.

"This approach should help put an end to any budgetary crisis or economic downturn that we've been facing here in the US. The creation of seven new states will surely mean additional GNP, especially in Pacmania, which uses quarters as its sole currency."

The new proposed states include:

Newest Mexico - Land previously known as baja california. Really, all we're doing is making it "abajo old mexico."

West and East Ballus - Two small states, much like the carolinas. Military bases proposed here will hold many seamen.

Obamahoma - Originally proposed by the Bush administration by Dick Cheney as "Portraitofme"

HandyTown  - Taking all the nicest people from North and South Carolina, Handyville aims to be the most hospitable state ever.

Pacmania -  Famed local cuisine to include "the dot" and "the bigger dot."

Spikeyville - The spiked nature of Northern Spikeyville is designed to threaten Canada with an impending invasion.